Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If that was your dad, he is hot
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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