I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
