I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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