I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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