There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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