32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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