I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I had to cum in my sink.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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