There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
