This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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