shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
