I think i peed on brittanys purse
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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