so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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