I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
