We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
