i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize