when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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