Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Everyone says I win the strip club
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
