I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize