So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
