I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
