oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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