ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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