just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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