Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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