I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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