last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
