But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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