I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
