Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
