i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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