I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
