I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
