batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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