What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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