Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize