wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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