covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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