i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
