but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sobbing to NWA
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize