i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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