I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
