In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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