HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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