Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
worst night to have a conscience
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
