I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize