OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
