so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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