wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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