pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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