i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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