i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
