I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
