I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
