is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
