do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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