Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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