...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
