"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
