Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
