are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
