Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
