and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize