census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
