I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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