i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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