shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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