shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All the doctor said was why
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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