i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
