He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
