He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
false alarm, still single
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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