So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
