Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
