he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
