4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My feet surprised me
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