the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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