I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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