nut hugger
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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