Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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