i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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