I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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