you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
