dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
